Japan: Fun times (and too many drinks) with Korean John

Early on during my first trip to Japan in May 2011, my mate Alex and I met a middle aged Korean man called John. Korean John as we called him was also staying at Hotel Raizan South and was friends with the manager (the excellent) Shinozaki. We quickly learnt that Korean John was a top bloke, very friendly, generous and helpful but also rather bumbling and rather frustrating to travel with. Thanks to John we were introduced to a number of great restaurants and shrines around Japan. We had plenty of hilarious times with Korean John and I thought a few were worth recounting (before the memories are lost forever amongst the rest of the useless information I keep in my brain).

Navigating and travelling with Korean John:

Korean John

John spoke a decent basic level of Japanese and combine that with his electronic translator, he was way better placed than Al or I for any conversations in Nihongo. John had also already been in Osaka for a number of months by the (in addition to any previous visits) so he decided to take us under his wing and kindly wanted to show us around. Our first trip with Korean John was to a Shinto shrine called Sumiyoshi Taisha (I highly recommend a visit here). After what seemed like hours of John rummaging around in his manbag, cross referencing maps, train timetables and various other items he finally devised a plan on how to get there. His research seemed justified as Osaka is a very big city with many companies offering many transport intersecting transport options. We headed for the Shinimamiya Nankai station and after some fumbling around John worked out which of the (only) two platforms we needed and we followed him on a train. After a 10 minute journey we jumped off to find John rather flustered and wandering around in circles, cross referencing his maps, timetables and station signs. He was rather embarresed to say that we had boarded a semi express train and had gone well past the station we wanted to get off at. We corrected our mistake and had a great day wandering around the shrine. I’ve visited this shrine multiples times since and it’s a very simple and short trip from Shinimamiya.

Another day we headed to Kyoto to check out some shrines and temples. We probably should have known better but we put our faith in Korean John’s navigation skills again. After sitting on a local bus for a period of time I began to get a little suspicious we were headed the wrong way. I checked and confirmed my suspicions from my own map then had to spend the next five minutes attempting to convince John. We eventually got off. I had already worked out that all we had to do was cross the street and get the number 206 bus back the way we had come from. But John wasted another 5 minutes trying to translate a conversation with some kind older Japanese ladies about where we needed to go. Even with our poor Japanese skills Al and I could understand that they were pointing across the road and saying 206. I think it was after this incident that Al and I decided to take the lead when going out with John. Initially John was very reluctant to follow us as we were new in Japan and didn’t spent hardly any time at all planning our trips. Eventually he became very impressed how easily we could navigate our way around Japan.

 

Korean John the Spy..?

Al and I were both jealous that Korean John could spend so long on holiday in Japan (often spending his time playing an online Asian card game on Raizan’s computers in the lounge) so we asked him (numerous times) what he did for work. For a while he was able to avoid the question and put us off but eventually we got some answer out of him. However we were given three completely different answers. At some point he managed real estate, another time he owned a bunch of restaurants and the last he sold medical supplies. Al and I joked that it was all a cover and was really a North Korean spy. The more we thought about this the more plausible the idea became.

The manbag and the frequent explosion of gear

the manbag, moments before it all hit the ground

Korean John would always carry what I can best describe as a large men’s leather purse or manbag. He’d keep all his crap in there, electronic translator, maps, timetables and various other equipment (that only a North Korean spy would need). On every single trip we took with John he would invariably drop all his crap on the ground at least twice! This would be at the most inappropriate time or worst possible location too. I recall him dropping his shit on trains, buses, various platforms, in shrines and randomly in the street. You couldn’t help but laugh. We became so accustomed to the noise of John’s stuff exploding on all over the ground that we didn’t even have to look to see what had happened. Strangely enough later in our trip we met a younger Korean bloke who also had a habit of dropping his shit regularly as well. Must be something in the water.

 

Drinking with Korean John

One night Korean John wanted to take us out to a bar with Nomihodai (all you can drink for a few hours for a set fee). It was a much nicer place than I had expected. Al, John & I were given a private booth with a sliding Japanese paper door. We were given a menu and quickly picked out a few cocktails to start with. Moments later the girl returned with our first drinks, we tried to immediately order another 3 drinks but were told we had to finish the first before ordering again. Al and I were determined to make the most of our money over the 2 hour period so we quickly downed our drinks and hit the buzzer to call the waitress back. The paper door was tentatively slid open and the girl asked if something was wrong. She was shocked that we were already ordering more drinks. As you can imagine this process continued for the next hour plus. Al and I were working our way around the drinks menu while Korean John was trying valiantly to keep up with preferred drink of sake. At some point we found out that the last order was 30 minutes prior to the end of our 2 hour block. We decided that one drink over the last half hour wouldn’t cut it so we started stockpiling drinks by hiding full glasses under our table and while constantly ordering more. At one point I had 5 small but full bottles of sake lined up for Korean John. Al and I were getting kind of drunk but John had gotten to a point where he’d invented his own language and seemed to struggle with the concept of gravity. Numerous drunken photos were taken of the evening, my favourite being when I tried to take a photo of Alex and John who were both on the other side of the table to me. John decided he didn’t want to be in the photo and tried to slide sideways on his seat to get out of it. Unfortunately the seat didn’t continue all the way to the door so what he ended up doing was sliding most of the way off the seat, falling into the door and wedging himself on a 45 degree between the door and his seat. Al had to help him back up. Eventually our time ran out, I was feeling pretty exhausted after a very busy day and John was completely smashed from trying to keep up with Al and I. Somehow despite being so drunk John managed to slip out and pay the bill without us evening knowing, yet another generous act. I don’t think the bar had seen two Aussie’s coming, they would have made a big loss that evening no doubt. The bar was around a 10 minute walk from Hotel Raizan South, it was a very slow walk home with John drunkenly pinball’ing his way down the street. Numerous times we had to rescue him from stumbling out onto the road or from heading into a bush. All the while he seemed far more preoccupied with how tired I looked and how he needed to get me home so I could sleep. The next day John was up kind of early and wasn’t looking nor feeling very good. He went back to bed for a while and when he awoke seemed to have no recollection of most of the night nor feeling so bad earlier that morning. 

I don’t recall whether it was that same night or another night with Korean John but as normal it ended with us chatting and drinking with fellow travellers in the Hotel Raizan South lounge. At some point around towards 1am I decided I’d had enough to drink and I’d hit the sack as we had plans to get moving early the next day. At 3:30am I was awoken by a commotion in the halfway of the 9^th floor. All I could hear was one guy yelling “WOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWW” followed by what could be no one other than my mate Alex yelling something like “SHUT UP DICKHEAD!”. This script was repeated 3 or 4 times before there was a slamming of a door down the hall quickly followed by Al exploding into our room. I learned the next morning that Al got Korean John so drunk that John lost the use of his legs, so Al picked him up, threw him over his shoulder and carried him into the lift, then brought him up to his room. I understand John’s constant wow’ing was in surprise as to how strong Al was to be able to pick him up. Oh and of course we didn’t get far the next morning either J

...and that was the last we heard of Korean John

Korean John finally returned home some 4 odd months after Alex & I visited Japan. I understand by the end he had stayed somewhere over 6 months in total. When Amanda and I returned to Japan a year later in May 2012 I asked Shinozaki about him. Through a broken English/Japanese conversation I found out that John went back and found himself in some sort of trouble. I’m unsure exactly what this refers to but it didn’t sound good. In our trip this year in March 2014 I asked again about John and sadly Shinozaki had heard no more from him. Wherever he is and whatever his is up to I hope he is well. I will not easily forget the hilarious moments we had with him.